


It's Better To Burn Than To Fade Away

by HiHannah



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Angst I guess, Getting Together, M/M, Songfic, loved writing this, request, solangelo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-13 19:10:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3392942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiHannah/pseuds/HiHannah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico has a crush on Will and he hates it but he loves it. It's almost like an addiction.</p><p>Songfic inspired by the song 'Nicotine' by Panic! At The Disco, as requested by thegirlwiththegreenclothes.tumblr.com</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Better To Burn Than To Fade Away

“You’ve spent three whole days here, it’s time for a final check, and then you can go,” Will sounded disappointed. Or maybe Nico just hoped he did. Because he was pretty damn disappointed himself. The fact that his time in the infirmary was over didn’t make him happy. He blamed it all on Will, but Nico had come to love his annoyingly cheery personality and his flirty way of acting around Nico. He hated how he loved the way Will’s hands lingered for a split second longer than necessary whenever he touched Nico. He would never admit he actually liked the stupid nicknames Will had come up with. He would deny he had blushed every time Will complimented him or sometimes even when he simply smiled at him. He had a crush on Will Solace and he hated it. Well, he absolutely loved it but he also hated it.

 

“...Nico?”

“Huh? What? Oh, right... final check.”

“Yeah, take off your shirt?”

Nico did as he said, feeling a bit exposed and awkward, even though Will had seen him shirtless more often than not in the last three days.

Will took a few steps towards Nico, he was standing very close now. If Nico would just lean forward a tiny bit... _No, stop it. I have to stop thinking about him like that. I barely even know the guy. Well... he is my friend and he has taken good care of me for the last few days... No! Friend. Will is a friend._

Will touched Nico’s arm. Slowly increasing pressure on the wounds, looking back and forth between Nico’s face and the werewolf scratches on his arm. Nico tried not to blush, tried not to shiver, tried not to let his heartbeat speed up. Of course he failed. He felt his face radiate heat and his pulse quicken.

“Nico, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You seem to be... warm. Warmer than usual. And a bit nervous too, according to your heartbeat.”

“I’m fine, Solace.”

“If you want me to back off then you can just tell me, okay? I don’t want to be invasive or anything. If you’re uncomfortable-”

“No!” Nico realised this sounded a bit... weird, to say the least, and quickly added, “I mean, it’s okay, you’re not being invasive.”

“Well, okay. These wounds have healed nicely these past few days. They’re not completely gone yet, as you can see, but they’re doing quite good. The rest of your injuries have mostly disappeared, which is fantastic. You seem a lot more stable and solid than when you came in, so the risk of fading is almost minimal. Well, I say minimal, but if you use any Underworld-y magic in the next two months, you will probably still melt into shadows. So don’t summon anything, don’t shadow-travel, don’t talk to Jules-Albert, don’t visit the Underworld. Okay?”

“I promise I won’t.”

“Okay. You’ll have to come back here every two days so I can keep an eye on you and check how you’re doing. Doctor’s orders.”

“Alright.”

“Well, then there is nothing left for me to do right now. You’re free to go.”

“I should, get going, then. Thanks for everything,” Nico smiled: his best attempt at flirting.

“No problem, it’s my job. But, ehm... you might want to get changed before you leave.”

Nico looked down at himself. Shirtless, but his pants... He was still wearing the bright orange ‘infirmary uniform’, with the blue Pegasus on it. It was an absolute nightmare of colours.

“Oh, shit, yeah. I completely forgot about this. If you hadn’t mentioned it, I would be walking around camp in orange pyjamas. Can you imagine? Me, the son of Hades, in orange pyjamas!”

“Oh I can definitely imagine that.”

Nico blushed.

“You’re standing right in front of me, you idiot. Of course I can imagine it! Okay, you should take those off and I’ll go get some clothes from your cabin, alright?”

“Okay.”

 

Nico took off his pyjamas and waited in his underwear on the bed. Will knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

At the exact moment Will came through the door, Nico realised he was only wearing his underwear. While Nico nearly panicked and awkwardly tried to feel less exposed, Will quickly looked him up and down and blushed.

Will cleared his throat. “Here... Here are your clothes.”

Will handed the clothes to Nico and when their hands touched, Will didn’t let go for a split second. When he did, he seemed to have gone back to his annoying, flirty self.

“I tried to find you the least black stuff you had in your closet so the difference wouldn’t be too big, yet I could only find dark blue instead. You should buy something lighter, it would bring out your eyes.”

Will left the room with a wink. Leaving a blushing and very confused Nico behind with a small stack of clothes in his hands.

 

He walked out of the room as soon as he had put on his clothes. He didn’t see Will, so he left the infirmary and walked back to his cabin. It was really dark. He could barely remember he had liked the darkness. He went outside again, into the sunlight. He took a casual walk around camp, not heading anywhere in particular. He walked past the strawberry fields, the lake, the forest, the arena, and Thalia’s tree with the dragon and the fleece. He only stopped walking when he heard someone call his name. He turned around to see Will smiling and waving at him from the doorstep of the infirmary.

“Hi, Will.”

“Hello, Nico. It’s been so long since we talked to each other.”

“Almost too long,” Nico said with a smirk. _Did I just flirt with Will Solace?_

Will smiled.

“I know, right? We should hang out _very_ soon. How about this afternoon? My shift is nearly over and I’ll be able to get away from here in about half an hour, is that alright?”

“Sure,” Nico tried to hide his enthusiasm.

“Awesome, see you then- Wait! Come here for a second.”

Nico took a couple of steps in Will’s direction.

“There’s something on your face... no, not there... here, let me do it.”

Will brought a hand up to Nico’s face and brushed a thumb over his lip, then started rubbing harder and harder in an attempt to get the ‘something’ off Nico’s lips.

Then he stopped rubbing, lightly brushed for one last time and then let go of Nico’s face. Nico had to force himself not to follow the hand. His lips were tingling and he was sure his cheeks were bright red. Will wasn’t exactly calm either.

Nico cleared his throat, “I, ehm... I’ll see you later, I guess. Where?”

“The arena?”

“Sure,” Nico turned around while mumbling some sort of goodbye, and quickly walked towards the arena.

 

When he got there, he climbed up the rows of chairs and just sat at the very top, staring into the distance.

_What the hell just happened? Will rubbed ‘something’ off my lips. He touched my lips._

Nico could still feel Will’s thumb. He could’ve sworn he could taste it too.

He knew it was ridiculous. He knew Will would never like him back. He knew it was a weird and nearly impossible thing that he had a crush on someone so bright and happy, while he himself was the most dark and depressing person anyone could ever meet.

 

He sat there for a while, then he heard Will, calling his name.

“I’m up here!”

“Oh, hi! Hang on, I’ll be up there in a second.”

Will sat down next to Nico. _Very close._ His hair looked golden in the sun. His eyes were too blue. It just wasn’t fair. Will was so cute, with his freckles and his adorable dimples. But he was also very hot. The way his eyes could shine mischievously when he ‘flirted’, like he did with everyone. The way his hair was literally glowing in the afternoon light. The way you could see his muscles through his shirt. The way he...

Nico had to hold his breath in an attempt to calm down again. He cursed Cupid for taking control of his emotions and his body. He didn’t like it when anyone had any kind of control over him, and a crush was certainly one of those things that could completely possess him.

“So...Nico...”

“Hm?”

“How are... things?”

“Good, I guess. You patched me up, I’m not fading, I’m staying at camp...”

“Yeah...”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Will.”

“I guess I just wanted to thank you.”

“Thank me? For what?”

“For not giving up.”

“Not giving up on what?”

“On the quest, on the world, but mostly on yourself, really.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Well, you did so much- don’t even try to deny it- and you never gave up. Not once. Not even when you were literally on the brink of dissolving into shadows and becoming a ghost. You stayed. You didn’t run away from the infirmary. You didn’t shut me out or push me away. You let people in- let me in. I think that’s a whole lot better than you could’ve done back when you were a terrified, angry, little 10-year-old. I’m proud of you. You’re strong.”

_If I were strong I would be able to control myself and my feelings._

“You really think I’m strong?”

“Of course I do. Have I not literally said that just a couple of seconds ago?”

“Yeah... but...”

“Nico, I think you’re a strong person and I’m proud of you. Why aren’t you? Why don’t you think you’re strong?”

“I’m not a strong demigod or hero or person. People like Percy, like Jason, like Reyna, like Annabeth, they’re strong. You’re strong. I’m just a tiny son of Hades who never actually does something, I only help others. I don’t have a job or purpose. I only just found a place I can really call home. I’m very small. I run away from problems instead of facing them. I have been constantly scared for the last four years. Even right now, I am a little scared. I refuse to accept help, I push people away at all times. I often lie to myself and other people, because I’m afraid to admit the truth, even to myself. Why would I be strong?”

“Because you don’t give up.”

“But I _do_. I run away and I won’t even trust myself with my own problems.”

“But you always come back. You never actually gave up. When you had the chance to, when you were fading, you stayed here. You _chose_ to keep going. That is what I call strength.”

Nico didn’t answer. He had a hard time believing Will actually thought he was strong.

They heard the signal for dinner.

“Time to go, I guess,” Will said.

“Yeah, go ahead. I’ve got to get a sweater from my cabin.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later.”

“Sure.”

Will brushed his hand across Nico’s neck and ruffled Nico’s hair while he stood up.

 

When Will was gone, Nico sprinted to his cabin, put on a sweater and sat on his bed. He thought about how he had loved Will’s fingers in his hair and his hand on his neck. He thought about Will’s hair and eyes and his nose with those cute freckles, and his muscular arms and legs, his tall figure and broad shoulders, and his lips. His lips looked soft and... kissable. He cringed at his own cheesiness. But now he couldn’t get the idea out of his head. And he had to go to dinner.

 

Nico couldn’t help but stare at Will while eating, which resulted in some awkward eye-contact and weird looks from both of their friends. After dinner, Nico thought about what he would do that evening. He realised most of his plans involved Will. He mentally punched himself for getting addicted to something- no, some _one_ \- he couldn’t have.

He had a little fight with himself in his mind about whether or not he should do anything. The thought of Will’s lips eventually convinced him to walk up to Will.

“Hi.”

“Hey, Nico!”

“Do you want to... hang out some more?”

“Sure, man!”

“Okay. What do you wanna do?”

“I don’t know... Let’s just sit and talk, alright?”

“Yeah, of course. Arena again?”

“Why not. Let’s go.”

They walked to the arena and sat down at the top again.

 

Neither of them said anything for quite a while, then Will broke the silence.

“Are we actually just watching the sunset?”

Nico nodded.

“Are we going to watch the stars too?”

Nico nodded again.

“How romantic.”

Nico’s eyes widened. He would’ve choked if he was eating something. “What- what do you mean?”

“That’s what people do, right? They watch the sunset and the stars. The people in the movies.”

“This isn’t a romantic movie.”

“No. We would’ve seen the cameras.”

“You’re a ridiculous doctor.”

“I know. But am I _your_ ridiculous doctor?” Will wiggled his eyebrows.

“You’re a stupid ridiculous doctor. You’re my ridiculous _friend_.”

“Friend?”

“Yes. I’ve been hanging out with you all day, you’ve been nice to me and you haven’t pissed me off. I consider you my friend.”

_And the hottest guy I’ve ever seen._

“Okay, cool. Although... you’re not my friend.”

Nico could physically feel the words smash his heart. He would’ve cried if he was alone.

“I don’t consider you my friend because the word doesn’t even begin to cover what you are to me. You’re _more_ than just a casual friend. I might not be more to you but _friend_ isn’t enough to describe you.”

The bleeding of Nico’s heart stopped.

“When I’m with you I feel sick.”

Aaaand the emotional fists started beating up his heart again.

“My vision blurs and my stomach flips over. My heart is drowning in happiness and fear at the same time. My knees go weak and my cheeks go red, my fingers tingle. Does that sound familiar to you? Because this is the work of the gods, Nico. Two in particular. Aphrodite and Cupid. And for the slower people among us: yes, I am coming out to you and confessing my love for you at the same time. Do you want to go out with me?”

Nico looked at Will’s lips and thought, _fuck it, I’ll just do it._

He kissed Will.

And he was glad he had fallen into this addiction. Because he could never get enough of _this._


End file.
